Ask them what they ate for breakfast, and they can somehow turn it back onto you and what you did wrong. Ask them if they are cheating on you and they can similarly make it about you and not them. Their goal in that moment is to put the control back into their hands and not yours. To understand, you must remember the narcissist has an unstable sense of self they must always protect against.
Their go-to response is to do anything to protect against narcissistic injury, even if there is no actual threat of narcissistic injury. One of the traits of a narcissist is the belief that they are unique and special and can only be understood by other special and high-status people.
Regardless of who you are, to the narcissist you are not that high status person they think they can relate to. They are incapable of building connection with people due to their lack of empathy.
Non-narcissists ask questions as a way to connect, understand, and question someone else. All the narcissist sees is they are being questioned and this opens the door to the other person learning that they are not the flawless, superior person they want you to think you are. The confusion and uncertainty are required for their gaslighting to be effective.
If you have all the answers and feel confident with how things are working around you, then you are harder to control and manipulate through the gaslighting. The narcissist must be in control at all times and this is largely done through gaslighting. If they only left the more difficult questions unanswered, then you would catch onto their game more quickly.
This helps to make what you say more acceptable and also more difficult for them to challenge. Another way of not answering the question is by simple lying or otherwise being less than wholly untruthful in some way.
The most straightforward way of lying is complete fabrication, where you make up an answer that is entirely untrue. Straight lies can be difficult as other evidence may get you into further trouble. A more effective way is often to tell mostly the truth but then lie only in a critical part of what you are saying. In what has euphemistically been called 'being economical with the truth', you can be completely truthful but avoid difficulty by omitting the critical elements that would cause problems for you.
Yes, I saw her there. She was with some other people. I don't know what time she left, but I went at about eleven o'clock. If you are asking questions and the other person is dodging them, then you have a dilemma as to whether you persist.
Here are some methods you can use. The simplest method to use is simply to ask the question again. Many people, when faced with this repetition will see that you are not going to give up and will therefore answer the question properly. This can turn into a competition where the questioner keeps repeating the question and the other person keeps avoiding. If the avoider is determined, then they can easily win, making this a possibly unsuccessful strategy. Sorry, you have not answered the question.
How much money are you prepared to invest in this? Sometimes people are not ready to answer the question at the time, perhaps because they have other things on their mind. They may also refuse to answer because of contextual factors such as other people being there and the social embarrassment or status issues that answering would cause.
Sometimes the question is not understood or the words offend. In such cases, a simple approach is to ask the question using different words. Further explanation and detail around the subject may help clarify the question. There is an opportunity to help grow the business and get great returns by investing in it. Are you interested in this?
It can also help to reflect on how the question is being asked, for example with a commanding tone that causes reaction or in a weak way that offers refusal as a real option. Would you care to join us in a new investment? To do this we would need to know how much you would be interested in investing.
People such as politicians often play games around questioning, refusing or answering differently. A simple approach to game-players is to names the game, showing them that you can see what they are doing. Why are you avoiding the question? Do you want to have a share in the company? This will need investment on your part, you know. A softer approach is to assume that the person is unable to answer the question for some deeper reason.
By taking a counselling or therapeutic position, you can empathize with their problem and try to find out more about why they are feel unable to answer the question. Resisting persuasion , Lying. Quotes Guest articles Analysis Books Help. More Kindle book s: And the big paperback book. Look inside. Patient records were not addressed. We have some end users confused as to how some information was updated. If they go on to keep missing the target, analyze how deeply you should press for a more precise answer.
Try once or twice, then move on. Refrain from providing opinionated dialogue when doing so. See yourself being on a mission to simply address all the pillars of the questions that you asked. See the details of the downloadable document here. Additional real-life examples are included in our Cases documents. Read our analyses of current events by becoming a subscriber. Disclaimer of Opinion: This article is presented only as opinion. It does not make any scientific, factual, or legal claims in any way.
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